Seeing as tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, I feel it only fitting to write about where I’m at with all that stuff (you know, love and all.) Well, I’m honestly no where lol. But it’s okay, I kind of like it that way.
If anyone knows me personally, they know that my love life over the past few years has been a little rough. I’ve always struggled to balance my relationship with the rest of my life. What can I say, I’m a Pisces: a hopeless romantic who, at times, gets a little too lost in the daydream and struggles to see reality. Okay, it actually happens like all the time-I come up with some pretty amazing scenarios I have to say!
So when I find myself wrapped up in someone that asks a lot more than they should of me, I tend to give it all to them. I don’t like to say ‘no’ to people and when I like you, I REALLY don’t like to say ‘no’ to you. In my head I’m doing it for the sake of the love story and ‘he’s my soulmate blah blah blah’. Except when I take my rose-colored glasses off at the end of it, it’s suddenly super obvious I was sooo wrong lol like what have I been doing with this guy?
At the risk of sounding like a bitch: I’m also guilty of the game so if you play hard-to-get I’m gearing up and ready to go too. I’m here for it. And that’s usually where I like to stay, in the game, especially if you’re a beautiful man because it keeps my heart at a safe distance. No hard feelings just a lot of flirting and fun. Until someone crosses the line of wanting more….I’ve been on both sides and it never really works out after that.
If you can’t read through the lines I’ll spell it out for you: I haven’t quite figured out how to invest in men that I actually like. Vulnerability is tough and if you want quality relationships you have to learn to be vulnerable. So the love life is no where really at the moment. And I’m okay with that. One day I’ll get there and right now, I’m fine if that’s not today. Happy Vday Fam!
The new year is a beautiful and exciting thing. It allows us all to reflect about the past year and celebrate not only our breakthroughs but also our struggles. I’ve learned so much in 2017, I didn’t even realize this until I took the time to sit down and reflect. I’ve decided to share my reflections as well as some of my goals for this new year.
I started out 2017 a little confused and lost. I had just gotten out of a long-term/long-distance relationship (literally on New Years Day) and was learning how to be on my own again. I used to find peace in working out but my passion for it wasn’t as great as it was in 2016. I was in a dark place then so fitness really pulled me out of the hole I dug for myself. Entering 2017, it was just part of my routine now. I still feel it to be very important and I still enjoy working out, but it wasn’t something I was interested in pursuing any further than I already had. I was ready to explore something different.
2017 was a year of spiritual breakthrough. I’ve grown up going to Sunday School and church on Sundays, but I’ve always felt a disconnect with God. I couldn’t completely wrap my head around the idea of believing in something you couldn’t see. I didn’t understand how people could have this deep connection with the unknown. I believe in being a good person, but that’s so surface level and I couldn’t connect to the deeper meaning behind it all.
By spring I was drawn to a few people on YouTube who believed that the universe has a plan for us all and we need to be open to it. Going into the summer I attended a Tony Robbins seminar; it was such an eye opening experience. His approach to living is so beautiful it really changed my perspective on how to live. I learned that I was in control of a lot more than I thought I was. By fall, I found myself more at peace and wanting to explore this lifestyle further. I started reading and researching and before I knew it I had found something spiritual that finally resonated with me.
There are things in life that we have no control over. They could be beautiful things or they could be tragic things, but all of these things are happening for a reason and it’s to build you into the person you were meant to be. I was able to look at my past experiences (good and bad), appreciate them all, and be grateful that they happened. I’ve built a love for myself and my life that I didn’t have before and I’m actually excited for the unknown (aka the future). I have no idea where my life is going but I believe it’s going somewhere beautiful because I am not fighting it I am allowing it to happen.
I didn’t realize how much I’ve grown over the past year until I reminisced on all of this. I honestly think 2017 has been one of the best years of my life. I’ve never been more excited to grow and to see where the universe takes me. I’d love to hear any of your 2017 breakthroughs as well so we can all reminisce together.
1. I’m that stereotypical Maryland girl who is obsessed with the state of Maryland.
Guilty as charged! I don’t think I’m too obnoxious about it…just don’t dis my state you know? But honestly, what can you hate about the state of Maryland? We got the sunshine, the snow, the forest, the farmlands, the bay, the ocean, the mountains…and have you seen our new drivers’ licenses!? #imobsessed #lowkeycryingaboutmovingtoVAsoon
2. I’m a stress eater and a stress shopper FOR SURE.
Bad day at the office: you’ll find me at Chipotle or the mall.. My shopping weakness is SHOES!! I have way too many pairs I need to stop…but I cant.. I even have shoes that I have never worn. I admit, it’s a problem. But I’m working on it (2 months strong)..
3. Friends and Family are EVERYTHING.
I’m that awkward emotional girl at Thanksgiving dinner who CAN’T HANDLE HERSELF. I’m already emotional and sensitive as is so when you combine that with the love I have for my crew..I can’t. But seriously, I’ll do anything to help them out and I know they would do the same for me and I need to stop typing before I start crying again..
4. I love the gym…but also love my bed
I love fitness and working out, but I also love my bed. As you can imagine, this is a pretty tough dilemma..I love kickboxing, yoga, and weightlifting. And also sleep…I have to push myself extra to go to the gym but when I do..I get the gainsssss! Pro tip: tell someone to meet you there, then you HAVE to go. If I’m not at the gym I’m in my bed.
5. I have a tabby cat named Laila
She’s the perfect combination of sassy and sweet. Everyone says shes a princess and it’s very much true. She doesn’t like to be pet on your time, and she loves sitting on the laptop keyboard when you have an essay due at 8am…but I love herrrrr! She’s very tiny so she’s forever a kitten and loves to snuggle in the AM.
There you have it! Give me 5 fact about you in the comments!!